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Julie’s Jabbers: The Time I Got THIS CLOSE to Touching Joe Manganiello

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(Getty Images/Kevin Winter)

(Getty Images/Kevin Winter)

Joe Manganiello is coming to town next week to promote a documentary about the famous male-strip club in Dallas, La Bare. He directed it and his brother Nick co-produced so they’re doing everything they can to get the word out about their movie. I received an email about having Joe on the morning show earlier this week and promptly freaked-the-%#@&-out. Then I realized he will be coming when I’m on vacation.

I won’t be here to meet Joe Manganiello.

I don’t have a LIST but if I did Joe would be on it and probably in the Top 2 (sorry but there’s no topping Hugh Jackman). I remember watching “True Blood” during one particularly hot-naked-Alcide scene and muttering something like “Good God,” under my breath but probably peppered with profanities. My husband was sitting next to me (which I had briefly forgotten) and he got a bit offended.

“You LIKE that?” he asked me.

I was rendered speechless by the absurdity of this question. Doesn’t EVERYONE like that? I think there are probably 100% heterosexual men out there who would STILL make out with Joe Manganiello. That’s just how hot he is and I won’t be here to meet him. He’s probably bringing in some La Bare dancers too. (Insert more profanity here.)

I was dealing with this harsh reality when I got an email about a “La Bare” screening in July which Joe will be attending. They asked if I would like to introduce Joe and then moderate a Q&A with him after the movie IN JULY! I told them YES, and added a few very unprofessional comments to illustrate my excitement. I might not be here next week when Joe comes in but I’ll still get to meet him!

I went to bed last night thinking about what I would wear to the event and imagining just how big Joe Manganiello’s hands would look on my back when he hugged me (because he WOULD hug me!). I was so happy that even my husband was excited FOR me.

Then I opened my email this morning.

I had gotten a response about the Q&A with Joe I was asked to moderate in JUNE…

NEXT %#@&ING WEEK WHEN I’M ON VACATION!

It was a typo, a simple month-mix-up that anyone could make. Heck, I probably make that same mistake on a daily basis.

But I almost burst into tears right there on my computer.

So I won’t get to meet you Joe Manganiello, and I won’t get to shake your gigantic hands and hug your massive back and you’re probably relieved about that fact after reading all of this. But I would’ve worn a pretty dress and asked great questions and Joe would’ve laughed at all of my jokes.

And that would’ve been one incredible hug.

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