Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That: Icepocalypse 2013 Edition
Every Monday, we unload our gripes during Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That. Considering we’ve all been cooped up in our houses due to the icy dangers outside, today’s gripes are dedicated to Whitey Blow 2013 and the Icepocalypse we’ve been living under for 3 days.
John was driving home last night in one of the only open lanes available on the highway. Ahead of him, two cars got stuck. As John waited for the cars to get unstuck, a man in a huge white truck passed him on the shoulder that was a foot deep in ice. Not only did he have the audacity to pass on the shoulder, as he passed John, he turned and winked at him. As karma would have it, when the other cars finally got unstuck and on their way, the dude in the white truck was stuck himself. Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That, but you know what, John did have a little time to wink at the dude as he passed by.
Tony does not drive on ice. He usually calls someone else to drive him around when it’s icy. Call him a diva or whatever, but he’s not an idiot. To the folks driving around in parking lots that decide to suddenly hit the brakes to let passengers out curbside, don’t do that. Yeah, it’s cold and it’s very nice of you to drop off Mom at the curb and go keep the car warm, but don’t slam on your brakes. The people behind you can’t slam on their brakes without running the risk of sliding into other cars. They can’t swerve around you into the other lane because of the oncoming traffic. All they really can do is close their eyes, take their foot off the pedals, and pray. It’s ice; be smarter than it because Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That!
Julie’s first gripe is for the people who were “snow shaming” on social media. Conditions varied across the DFW, and in Julie’s neighborhood it wasn’t that bad. She took her kids to North Park to see Frozen, but the theater was closed. Julie sent out a tweet about it, and someone responded with, It’s a shame that you would take your family out in this dangerous ice. Another person on Facebook sent out a blanket status telling everyone to “Keep your *bleeps* off the road.” We understand that it was much worse in other parts of town, but good grief! Life goes on, especially when you have all-wheel drive and a Chicago boy to drive you around. Otherwise, Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That!
Julie added another gripe to the pile addressing everyone who has lived outside of Texas, particularly in northern states, who were making fun of all of us freaking out over the ice and buying up all the bread, meat, and milk at the store. Looking at you, Kory. #yourefromFlorida #Ain’tNobodyGotTimeForThat