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Ain’t Nobody Got Time For Runaway Horses

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(Photo by Ian Waldie/Getty Images)

(Photo by Ian Waldie/Getty Images)

It’s Monday, and it’s time that we get those chips off our shoulders. It’s the exfoliation of the soul that we call Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That!

Julie’s husband and eldest daughter Emma went horseback riding over the weekend. Emma’s horse passed gas so loudly that it spooked and started to run off with Emma on its back. The person leading the horseback riding group told Emma that she needed to get control of her horse. The one they put her on. The one that farted. The one that is spooked by its own gas. Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That!

John’s 9-year-old daughter woke him up on Saturday morning to see what he would make for breakfast. He ended up making some awesome homemade waffles with cookie butter and powdered sugar on top. It’s been awhile since he’s eaten powdered sugar, so he forgot that you really shouldn’t inhale just before taking a bite. He ended up inhaling the sugar and coughing. Across the table, his daughter’s face showed her disgust. Powdered sugar… Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That!

It’s called Tony’s Law for a reason. Tony only goes to the movie theater maybe twice a year because he usually falls asleep during the movie. He went to see Gravity in 3D IMAX, so there was no way he would fall asleep. However, because he was awake the whole movie, he was aware that the man in the row behind him and a couple of seats over had the stinkiest feet in the history of everything! Dude, keep your shoes on and use some foot deodorant because Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That!

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