She Mail: Man Is Worried About Groomsman’s Heavy-Drinking Ex
Julie Fisk is here to help. If you’ve need advice or want us to hash out a problem on the air for you, let Julie share some of her wisdom.
This morning’s mail is actually a HE-Mail! Here’s what he asked Julie:
I’m getting married soon, but I have a problem with one of my groomsmen. His ex-wife has a really bad drinking problem. In fact, we didn’t hang out years partly because of her, but we hooked up again after their divorce. I asked this man to be a groomsman in my wedding, which is rapidly approaching, but he brought his ex when we all got together this past weekend. Even worse, she got black out drunk and caused a scene.
Now, I love this guy and really want him to be a part of my wedding, but I do not want her there. Is it okay for me to say that to him? It’s so important to me that if he can’t come without her, I really don’t even want him in my wedding. So what should I do? Am I being an unsupportive friend, or do I even have a leg to stand on?
Can’t wait to hear what you guys have to say about this. Thanks for you help!
Avoiding The Wedding Trasher
Dear Avoiding The Wedding Trasher,
This is a tough situation, but we’re all agreed that you need to address this as soon as possible. You should have a conversation with your groomsman friend and let him know that you’re not comfortable with his ex being at your wedding. Perhaps he’s only trying to test the waters to see if she’s welcome, but you should put your foot down. After all, it’s your wedding, your day, and you’re entirely within your rights to set the rules saying she is not welcome. The ex-wife’s presence will only be a distraction from your special day. You should prepare to draw a firm line in the sand. If he says that she absolutely needs to be there and that he will try to keep her under control, it’s okay for you to ask him to step down from being a groomsman and un-invite him from the wedding. Whatever you do, you should probably do it soon so that deposits on tuxes can be refunded.
Remember, if you ever need help or just want us to hash out your problem on the air, contact us at: KVILShemail@gmail.com.