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She Mail: Moving Forward After Being Cheated On

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Julie Fisk is here to help. If you’ve need advice or want us to hash out a problem on the air for you, let Julie share some of her wisdom.

Dear Julie,
I have been separated for almost 3 years and have been with my wonderful boyfriend for a year now.
I was married for over 8 years but he could never stay faithful. Now it has put a damper on my trust in men altogether. My current boyfriend has been a true blessing to me. I thought guys like him didn’t exist but every time his phone goes off or I see him texting, I wonder if he’s cheating like my Ex.
I recently contacted my ex-husband because I want to proceed with our divorce and he got pretty upset. It’s what I need to move forward, but it stirred up all those bad feelings & memories. How do I keep all of this from interfering with my new relationship? He and I are talking about buying a house together, but I’m so worried that I’ll get hurt again.
Thank You

Dear Fearful,

Recovering from the pain of infidelity is TOUGH and sadly, many of us have struggled with it just as you are now. The first thing you need to do is follow through with the divorce. Letting go of that ugly past will help you move forward, but it will also show your new love interest that you are serious about him. You should be honest with your new boyfriend about your past as well, and discuss these feelings with him. You both need to understand that the suspicions you have now are about your PAST and NOT your current situation. Remember this when that nagging voice in your head starts telling you he’s cheating (because it will) and don’t be afraid to talk to a therapist if it helps.

Remember, if you ever need help or just want us to hash out your problem on the air, contact us at: KVILShemail@gmail.com.

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