She Mail: Future In-Laws’ Hoarding Frightens Fiance
Julie Fisk is here to help. If you’ve need advice or want us to hash out a problem on the air for you, let Julie share some of her wisdom.
I am recently engaged to a really great guy. We’ve been together for about a year now & though I’ve been around his family several times, I had never actually been to their house. Well, we went to visit them in Denison this past weekend and it turns out they are massive HOARDERS. You can barely move through their place because of all the stuff! I’m shocked because they are really neat and clean people. I never expected they would be living like this and it really concerns me. Not just because there are boxes and clothes and even containers of food everywhere, but it doesn’t seem to bother my fiancé that much. He made some jokes about it, but it’s a serious mess. And furthermore, one day when we have kids, I don’t want them going anywhere near that place!
So what do I do? I really love this guy and want to marry him, but this is a whole side to his family that I really don’t like. Do I discuss it with him so he can talk to them about it or is this a sign of bigger issues?
Thank you for taking the time,
The Future Mrs. Oscar the Grouch
Dear Future Mrs. Oscar the Grouch,
I can relate to this one because I am the daughter of a hoarder. Just because his parents hoard things doesn’t mean that he will start collecting junk at some point. I don’t think it’s contagious. In fact, I am extremely sensitive about clutter now because of my background. I think that you should definitely discuss your concerns with your fiancé though. See how he feels about it and if he’s comfortable talking about it with his parents. Maybe he can talk them into cleaning up a bit, but hoarding is notoriously hard to get over. If they aren’t capable of change though, just keep inviting them to your place. Later on, when you DO have kids, there’s nothing wrong with saying you’d rather have the family meet at your house since it’s already baby-proofed and safe.
Hope that helps and congrats on your engagement!
Remember, if you ever need help or just want us to hash out your problem on the air, contact us at: KVILShemail@gmail.com.