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Julie’s Jabber: Pulling Teeth

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Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

We have a predicament in my house at the moment. My youngest, the 5-year-old, is losing her teeth at a record pace. She lost 2 in the past 6 months and is currently working on a third loose tooth. This is agonizing for my 9-year-old, who has only lost 6 teeth. That is probably why she was working on a barely-loose incisor last night while watching “Lord of the Rings” with her Dad.

I’m not sure how long she had been at it but at some point that tooth popped and was sticking straight out, like a tusk. THAT’S when the screaming started. She came running back to me and I honestly thought someone had been stabbed. So, I start trying to talk her thru it while she keeps pulling & twisting this tooth. However, I am ALSO freaked out by the situation and rendered completely useless.

I am suddenly Prissy in Gone with the Wind. “I don’t know nothing about birthing no babies Miss Scarlet! Get a knife to cut the pain in half!”

Finally the tooth pops out in an explosion of blood, like the bad guy getting whacked in a Tarrantino film. I think we both screamed at that point. It took FOREVER to stop bleeding and she actually left a trail through the bathroom. Have you got a good visual yet?

So congratulations Emma honey! You fought the good fight and came out of it a winner. If the world was fair the Tooth Fairy would bring you a hundred dollar bill, but she won’t.
We all know how cheap that woman is.

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