She Mail: Woman Seeks Help After Loaning Money To Friend
Julie Fisk is here to help. If you’ve need advice or want us to hash out a problem on the air for you, let Julie share some of her wisdom.
I moved to Dallas in 2007 and became good friends with the mechanic who worked on my car and his family. About a year ago, he and his family were going through some hard times and needed help financially. So I got a couple of credit cards and helped them out. We are talking almost $3000. He kept saying that he would help make payments whenever he could, which at the time I wasn’t worried about. I told him that if he could help fine, if not not to worry about it. I got a loan to pay off the credit cards and they have since been maxed out again. So, now I am paying on the loan and making payments on the credit cards. My friend and his family have gotten back on their feet but everytime I ask for help, he says he can’t. I literally cannot support myself anymore. I love this family and I am still there whenever they need anything but now I feel taken advantage of. Am I wrong to feel this way?
I need suggestions as to what to do, please.
Dear Feeling Used,
You’re feeling used because you HAVE been used! I don’t think your friend intended to use you but look at the circumstances. You gave him the credit cards and said to help if he could, but not to worry if he couldn’t. In other words, you gave him the freedom to do whatever he wanted and that’s what he did. We always hope that people, especially people we care about, will do the RIGHT thing, but that’s not always what happens. I’m afraid that to make this stop, you’re going to have to make a stand.
Tell your friend you can’t support the credit cards any longer and close them. Also, if you’re comfortable set up a payment plan with your friend until the cards are paid off. If you don’t feel right about doing that, you’re just going to have to find a way to pay them off yourself. Credit card companies will often work with people who are going through rough times so contact yours and tell them about the situation. The main thing is to stop digging a bigger hole.
Hope that helps and ummm, could you loan me a 20? (KIDDING!)
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