She Mail: Separating Twins At School Based On Grades
Julie Fisk is here to help. If you’ve need advice or want us to hash out a problem on the air for you, let Julie share some of her wisdom. Here is this morning’s question:
Our twin daughters are identical in looks, but they are very different. One sailed thru 1st grade but the other missed several days due to illness & struggled with her grades. In fact, it looks like she will have to repeat 1st grade. Our question is: Do we hold back the other girl? Our concern is how it would be for the girls to be separated by grades when they are identical twins. It would always be glaringly obvious that one was held back, and they wouldn’t have each other to do everything with. Some people think we’re crazy to even consider it, but we think losing one year would be better than the trauma they could face throughout school.
What do you guys think? And are there any parents out there who have had to deal with this? We would love any feedback you guys can get.
Mr. & Mrs. Doublemint Twin
Dear Mr. & Mrs. Doublemint Twin,
Boy, we were TORN with this one and I’m afraid I don’t have a good answer for you. Tony agreed with you, that splitting them up would be too traumatic but he had reservations. I thought it was important to focus on their educational needs and to NOT cave to peer pressure. All kids have to deal with peer pressure and it’s important to teach them early how to handle it. I ALSO had reservations though because I know it would be hard to sell the separation to your daughters. If you focus on the fact that your daughter had missed too many days and THAT is the reason she’s being held back, it would not be a matter of who is smart and who isn’t. Teach them both how to answer questions about the grade difference and maybe even role play at home. We asked a teacher friend and she reminded us that your girls are two individual people, even if they are twins. They should be treated as such.
Hope that helps and whatever you chose to do, we wish the BEST to you and your family!
Check out the response we received from listeners about the twins’ in school!
Remember, if you ever need help or just want us to hash out your problem on the air, contact us at: KVILShemail@gmail.com.