Mother’s Day is difficult for me because my own mother is deceased. This will be my 7th Mother’s Day without her and as anyone who has lost a Mom will tell you, it never gets easier.
I don’t feel right NOT buying a present for her. I use to buy Mother’s Day gifts for my sister, but she didn’t return the favor & seemed mildly annoyed by the gesture (“I gotta buy YOU something now?”).
Not that I didn’t give Mom gifts when she was alive. I LOVED buying things for her. She rarely treated herself so it was fun to buy her frivolous things. When you asked what she wanted, she’d say lame stuff like, “I really need a new bra and a slip. You could get it at Wal-Mart.” No Mom, I’m not buying you Wal-Mart underwear. It’s creepy.
My sister and I both loved buying stuff for Mom, but I think the biggest gift I ever gave her was a trip to Hawaii. It was her 60th birthday and she had never gone, so I took her. We had a blast but there’s one thing she said to me on that trip that haunts me. After a fight in our rented convertible, Mom said to me, “Why do I annoy you so much?”
So much for Daughter of the Year, right?
The sad part is that she really WAS annoying me. Looking back, I don’t even remember what it was but MAN, she was making me crazy! Guess I wasn’t hiding it very well either.
Then I look at my own children and wonder what I will do that bugs them? Countless things, I’m sure! Its kind of exciting to think about because face it. Being annoying is a Motherly Rite. Who else is going to remind you that you’re not using your education and the guy you’re dating has no future and that you probably shouldn’t be eating all that bread with your dinner? That’s MOM’S job. Who else will scrutinize your clothes and tell you how you need to call that one family member you can’t stand? Who else will browbeat you about the money you spend and the doctor’s appointment you didn’t schedule and everything else you suck at until you find yourself screaming at them next to a pineapple farm in Maui?
No one but your MOTHER.
So, I’m sorry that I lost my temper that day Mom but for the record, you WERE annoying me. You did it because it was your job and you took that job seriously. For that I am grateful.
That’s why I promise to continuously and joyfully annoy my own children every single day for the rest of my life. It’s my rite as their Mother, and I’ll do it in honor of YOU Mom, because I love you and every wonderful annoying moment I had with you.
Happy Mother’s Day Mom! I miss you!