The President gives a State of the Union Address every year before Congress and America to make sure everyone is on the same page as far as the government is concerned. Why not take the same principle and apply it to your relationship with a “State of Your Union” talk?
Every relationship has that difficult “Define The Relationship” talk early on so that both parties know how things stand in the relationship but never address things again. Like the President’s annual address, it’s good to have these talks every year.
These kind of talks can be difficult to bring up and make require some diplomacy to get off the ground. It’s a good idea to avoid the words “We need to talk” as those dreaded words always bring to mind worst case scenarios and puts your significant other on the defensive. Choose your words wisely before bringing up the that you’d like to talk about your relationship.
No has a perfect relationship and nobody’s relationship lives up to their individual expectations. Don’t let your own expectations run amuck. No two people are alike, and you’re both bringing different personalities to the table. Both parties should be open and honest about their expectations, needs, and wants for the relationship.
Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Don’t monopolize the conversation, rather listen to everything your partner has to say. Listening more that you speak will help you to understand better what your partner needs. Use clear language when you do get a chance to speak so that nothing you say can be misunderstood. Open-ended questions will help move the conversation along. Avoid sarcasm and leading questions that are designed to test your partner on whether he/she agrees with you or not.
You’ll want to choose the time and place to have you conversation carefully. Pick a when stress levels are low and energy hasn’t been drained away by work, exercise, or activities. A neutral location where you can talk undisturbed for long periods of time is also important.
Getting your relationship on the same page with a good conversation will make your Valentines Day all the more sweeter.